How it all started -
This work began many years ago with my own quest to become an
effective psychotherapist. I have a formal graduate school education where I studied the usual fanfare of theories and approaches
to psychopathology, neuroses, and the treatment of mental health conditions.
While I was content in the
early years of my career to provide this standardized style of psychotherapy it became increasingly clear to me that there
was something lacking; it was possible for me to regurgitate that knowledge base, yet produce marginal results. Marginal was
not good enough for me, or the clients who would count on me to bring them out of a quagmire of distress.
I came to believe that there must be a missing piece that would
explain basic human suffering, and that through a determined effort I could find this missing piece. A search ensued and I
looked toward eastern philosophy, western religion, mysticism, and a study of basic physics. Having spent several years in
search of the holy grail of treatment approaches, I decided in frustration that I had had enough.
In 2000 I stopped reading other texts of any kind, and began
a formal writing process in January 2003. Instead of looking to outside authorities for answers, I wrote down my questions
about basic human suffering in journal form, and then I answered them. In the following two years, the theory and content
for Why Good People Make Bad Choices was born.
What it says -
Why Good People Make Bad Choices takes you on
a journey of self-discovery by way of insights about the human condition. It describes the dynamic interplay between the instinctualized
ego and a consciously developed belief system. It uniquely defines an ego-dynamic problem yet provides a cognitive-behavioral
and existential solution.
The ego is “following an instinctual set of instructions
for survival.” Clearly and specifically delineated, these instructions are called, the ego’s
agenda. The agenda is this:
· Minimize
physical and emotional pain.
· Maximize physical and emotional gratification.
· Establish and maintain external power
and control.
· Establish and maintain idealization - internal/external.
Due to the ego’s agenda, we experience problematic feelings,
maintain maladaptive thoughts, and engage in behaviors that we know are not in our best interest. As a solution to the problem
of the ego’s agenda, this book describes the components of, “a consciously developed belief system.” As
we consciously establish a belief system, which includes a sense of prioritized values and a moral code, we are compelled
to think and behave in a manner that is reflective of our own best interest.
This book explains how inner turmoil is inevitable as
instinctual ego desires and conscious belief system values become conflicted. A simple yet effective method of understanding
and reducing this inner conflict is described. It also specifically shows how to understand and manage feelings and moods,
develop new and valued behaviors, and develop a belief system that will create personal integrity.
What it does -
This book can help you:
- Create integrity, and recognize it in others.
- Create peace of mind.
- Resolve problematic feelings that may interfere with sustaining integrity.
- Create a self-image you can be proud of.
- Transform any unwanted behavior or thoughts into new valued behavior.
- Understand and manage anger, worry, guilt, bad habits, anxiety, and depression.
 Reviews for Why Good People Make Bad Choices
-
"Why Good People Make Bad Choices: How You Can Develop Peace
of Mind Through Integrity--the title says it all. This book is absolutely right on for those of us who struggle to find inner
peace. Allen is appropriately confrontational throughout and poses questions and scenarios that help to illustrate how our
personal motivations impact the level of comfort we may have with the decisions we make in life. The book was very helpful
in guiding the reader through the different thought processes that can lead to feelings of guilt and despair and for coaching
you to emerge from your experiences with your integrity intact. One example that was particularly compelling was of a woman
who is considering cheating on her husband. Although she has no intention of doing anything wrong, she fulfills an unmet psychological
need by engaging in a flirtatious relationship with a co-worker. Through outlining the "Ego's Agenda," Allen breaks each action
down and explains how the subconscious manifests itself throughout the scenario.
After discussing how we tend to hold onto unhealthy patterns
of behavior, Allen walks the reader through how to change our responses through establishing a strong personal belief system.
This book is a must-read for anyone who is striving for personal growth and a sense of inner peace."
Reviewed by Rebecca Benston at Simegen.com
"Charles Lawrence Allen, MSW presents Why Good People Make Bad
Choices: How You Can Develop Peace of Mind Through Integrity, a self-help guide to overcoming maladaptive behaviors that erode
one's personal integrity and therefore one's well-being, as well as how to recognize integrity in others. Chapters discuss
how human beings are susceptible to near-automatic "instinctual management" behaviors, and teach methods for managing anger,
sadness, fear, and other emotions that threaten to overwhelm one's judgment, actions and integrity, thereby transforming unwanted
behavior. An uplifting self-help book for improving one's character and regaining control over one's life, one choice at a
time."
- Midwest Book Rreview
"Within the framework of this 19 Chapter book, the author,
Charles Lawrence Allen puts into perspective for the reader, the ego, it’s agenda within our lives and how we, the reader,
can find peace of mind and happiness through integrity. We learn from the beginning how good choices and bad choices
can affect our lives to the point of destroying integrity. We learn how to recognize, foster and finally keep integrity
foremost within our lives. And we learn that when integrity is foremost, our lives are happier and calmer, as well."
Read the rest of this review and the interview with Charles at Reader Views.
- Susan Pettrone, for Reader Views
"We all make bad choices sometimes. We decide that chocolate
bars are suddenly part of our healthy nutritional plan. We convince ourselves that since no one will notice, it’s okay
to leave early from work on Friday afternoons. We watch television instead of spending quality time with our family.
Why Good People Make Bad Choices states that our ego is at fault
in all of our bad decisions. The ego is that instinctual part of us all that attempts to protect us from pain while directing
us towards pleasure. Unfortunately, the ego does not differentiate between painful experiences that will create growth opportunities
and situations that are dangerous. Likewise, there is no distinction between experiences that will create pleasure in the
short term but may not necessarily be beneficial to our physical or mental health. In short, our ego isn’t always looking
out for our best interests. Thus, the key to making good choices is becoming aware of our instinctual behaviours and replacing
them with conscious behaviours that reflect personal integrity and how we really want to live our lives.
This book teaches the reader to change through awareness one
choice at a time. The end goal is simply peace of mind based upon your best interests instead of just seeking experiences
that will provide short term pleasure. It also teaches the reader the real meaning of various emotions and how to transform
these feelings into more healthy reactions."
-Tami Brady, TCM Reviews
"I find this to be a very valuable framework for therapy, and
for living a good life generally. It is a challenging book that can lead one to a new, more satisfying life. It
does not minimize the difficulties encountered in growth toward maturity, but rather provides useful signposts for the journey."
-Robert Rich, PhD, author of Cancer: A Personal
Challenge
"Why Good People Make Bad Choices is an incredible tool to aid
in the transcendence of the ego and to initiate the establishment of a personal belief system in order to live life with integrity.
Strongly recommended for anyone interested in improving their life."
-Richard A. Singer Jr., psychotherapist, author
of Your Daily Walk with the Great Minds
"Why Good People Make Bad Choices answers the question in its
title by borrowing ideas from an impressive range of psychological theories, expanding or re-defining them, and integrating
them into a cogent and useful whole. Thought-provoking and well worth the time, this book should be read once throughout
and then repeatedly and in small doses. It is bound to trigger a lot of introspection, something we sorely lack in modern
life."
-Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self Love:
Narcissism Revisited
Media History -
05/11/07 Appearance on Daytime, seen on NBC in the Tampa Bay area and these other stations.
05/05/07 Book Signing at Barnes
and Noble Bookstore, Tampa, Florida.
04/19/07 Radio interview on 99.7
The Lake from Ogallala, Nebraska.
03/30/07 Appearance on Tampa
Bay's Fox 13 NewsEdge at 11 o'clock for the Lightning Round, with news anchor Mark
Wilson.
03/25/07 Radio interview - the
Suzi Marsh radio show,"Change your Mind, Change your Life!" Heard on B98.5 FM Atlanta.
02/12/07 Press Release.
02/12/07 Interview with Juanita Watson
of Reader Views.
12/16/07 Book published, "Why Good
People Make Bad Choice: How You Can Develop Peace of Mind Through Integrity." Loving Healing Press, Ann Arbor,
Michigan.
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